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|Wednesday, September 27th, 2006|
my hands are still dirty after harvesting all the butternut squasheroos, and i just don't wash well. today consisted thus far of harvesting the prizewinning godgiven cornucopia treats (squash), lemon balm, and swiss chard, along with some bagging and weighing of potatoes and sunchokes. the conversations? sesame street episodes (who remembers lionel richie getting assaulted by the letter U?), religious homeschooling, and favorite sugarey treats.
so i'm supposed to move out there next week, and i even have my very own shepherd's wagon to live in; it's probably smaller than my old room at lowbrow, and it has a wood burning heater! i'm dying to photograph and post pictures, because it is just, well, darling. for this week, i'm driving the hour each way, which means i wake up at 4am. yesterday i was there from 6am to 5pm.
so it is a dream farm in many many ways, but it's also nightmare farm in many others. soon enough, i'll write more.
my share/box this week? i got kohlarabi, swiss chard, garlic, spinach, cilantro, red & green leaf lettuce, sweet potatoes, broccoli, sweet peppers, onions, sunchokes, green tomatoes, potatoes, leek, and squash!!!! yummy yum mmmmmm
today it feels like autumn. out of the corner of my eye, i spied leaves trickling down around noon o'clock. and the smell: so welcome, familiar, a damp forest. Current Mood: farmy
|Monday, September 18th, 2006|
we had the annual grandma mall trip this weekend. got underwear, just like last year. brought up dumpster diving over lunch. disgusted. became ostracized. (secretly i think my mom's really into it. she gets all giggly AND she eats what i find.)
luka and i chatted for ages last night and it turned out to be a super important mental health check for me. remembering what's valuable in my life. chickens. community. and sometimes even phone calls.
still waiting for dream job to call me. will fly back to FL early next week if i don't hear from them. too much limbo, slumber, plumbing. not enough thumbs.
|Friday, September 15th, 2006|
|smiling for jesus, cookies for the lord
so today was root canal day, part two. that is, FREE root canal day. three canals to the root, to be exact. teeth are funny strange things with nerves that buzz. my dentist DOES in fact have the hots for me which is super weird. especially when being gassed with the ol' nitrous (NO). somehow we struck a deal whereby he pulled a tooth then gave me a $700 procedure for free on another tooth. but then this odd hitting on slash guilt trip thing started which made me want to offer odd jobs, and by odd i mean clean his house. so we went there afterwards and all the while i kept thinking what is this that is happening and maybe i'll get more teethwork for free too, like a crown. that'd be over one thousand dollar dollar bills total y'all and whoa does that seem creepy. today's appointment was "after hours" so all the staff cleared out and the dentist turned on stevie wonder cuz i told him last time that was my jam. for real though this situation is getting stranger by the tooth, by the day. advice?
today was also dream job finding day. it finally crossed my path, i'm applying at a farm only one hour from my family's home. went there once for a potluck in like '98 and met a capoerista/DJ who lived in a barn. to be honest, if it all goes through with the farming, fingers crossed, i may stay up here a bit longer even though now in crystal lake i want to put my soul in a little envelope and mail it to florida for safekeeping. yes, i mean, no, i cannot be in this home for much longer than a week. my mind will misplace itself.
two nights ago, i inevitably conversed argumentatively with my mother. it started with my expressions of disdain for assigned gender roles (and her devotion to them) and progressed into debating sexism and homophobia. whoa. i've always known that feminism and transgenderism(?)are so intertwined but never had i seen the unfolding of this connection by a not-like-minded person aka mother. some key moments were when she called a husband and wife a "president and vice president" and brought up biology in animals then when she couldn't debate what i was saying, turned to GOD> shit. has this ever happened to anyone else? my mom pulls this stop out EVERY TIME. when she gets to a point that she can no longer debate with me because she realizes how foolish she sounds, she starts to ask me if i believe in god.... if i engage her in this discussion, she can dismiss all my ideas because i'm not saved by jesus. in this last debate, i was somehow able to divert it or call this out, but she then just got tired and wanted to end the discussion. the one good thing that came out of this, for me, is that i can now clearly trace the branches of gender oppression.
onward, gentle baboon,
on the radar, i will likely move up my return flight if this dreamjob doesn't fly, and will likely fly in later than mid-oct if it soars.
next week: mastercleanse, silent retreat, walks in the woods, genderblending.
|Tuesday, August 29th, 2006|
ever feel like you are so incredibly connected impossibly merged with someone that it can bring about intense pain and stormy confusion just an utter lack of control boundary inevitable sponging & it makes you want to run away to a small village in poland or maybe burrow into an invisible quiet lap of earth or maybe you want to paint it all over an entire room and use dark colors with splashes of bright red & hot pink and maybe some neon green for good measure
but wine would make you sleepy and none of those numbers or fillers ever solve equations when hearts are hooks with worms attached & heads fill with letters like a and oh and ghkjdkldj;asueiopqijlzx,cn,.naodh and??????????+++++++
ever get through it to think how connections don't happen just once just one person and often simultaneously there are witnesses like fruiting trees offering branches of climbing sweetness unfolding & everyone is a friend remember you have so much even another might just want to put their arms underneath your arms and let you go limp for a second and let you sob or shake and let you obsess and release
when you thought you were choking but it turns out you hadn't eaten anything but air and breathing will choose you until it doesn't
but you've made it through
you've made it through
and it's not rainbows and street dance parties and naked night swims YET
but its cardinals and helado de coco and phone calls to france
and its dumpstered treats yahtzee and rhythms of drums Current Mood: oh so emo
|everybody's doin it
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For Lesbians... Where Do You Fall on the Butch-Femme Continuum?
|Sunday, July 23rd, 2006|
just prior to beginning this virtual-osity, i did two things:
1. asked myself if i REALLLLY want to continue existing partially in unreal virtualand, and
2. sung a song to myself
there will be some more hard thought heart taught skysearching meditation on number one, as i may just be winding down my time dependent on the typing of keys and buzzing of screens and bug eyed suchness. until the dropout i will cautiously continue...
because i sing, because i play instruments, because the vibration of sound is literally obsessing itself with my stringed fingers and rhythmic tapping bones and there is this space between my belly and the ghost that's breathing through me, for all of this i am becoming wrapped or pleasantly unraveled in a cathartic power that moves so fast i can't believe how long i've waited for this
something is happening.
one coming sunday, there will be a bridge and some people. performers, per se. there might be ropes and dancers and maybe i will echo. accord is a chord is a song is a long harmony and oms resonate when they add together ad infinitum dum dum plastic letters under fingertips trickle while ballerina toes point and tappers click shoes and stompers clap slap thighs and heels to souls head shoulders knees and toes cabeza cara hombros pies
all priorities have rearranged into
something. happening. unexplainable in linear
quien corto la lima quien corto limon de mi pajarito de mi corazon Current Mood: expanding
|Sunday, July 16th, 2006|
|because of the last.
i have so much updating to do, yet this entry must be in reference to the previous one typed, regarding my embarrassing obsession with hollywood celebrity lives. i am now going to quote from derrick jensen's most recent book, *endgame*.....
...i don't know about you, but sometimes i have what i've taken to call angelina jolie moments. i'll be thinking about something else, and suddenly her image will pop up before me. i think it's because i'm so upset with how she was treated by billy bob thornton, and how scandalous their whole relationship was. i'm sure you've heard that each carried around the neck a vial of the other's blood. and i'm sure you also heard that hubby thornton sometimes said that when they were having sex he wanted to strangle her because he wanted them to be so close....
now, quick, what's the indigenous name for the place you live? who are the indigenous people whose land it is? what are five species of plants and animals who live (or lived) within one hundred yards of your home, and who have been harmed by civilization? what are ten species of edible plants within one hundred yards of your home?
i find it odd and horribly disturbing that i can tell you- not from direct experience, mind you- what is on angelina jolie's genitals, and what is not on nicole kidman's, yet it took me two years of living in tu'nes before i learned that there was a massacre of several hundred indians a few miles from my home at a place called yontocket, another massacre nearby at a place called achulet, and yet another at a place called howonquet. i wonder how long it will take to learn of them all. although i live in a riot of wildlife, i cannot name- or find- ten edible species outside my door....
it is beyond passing strange- i would say obscene, as well as absolutely typical- that so much of our discourse concerns so many pieces of information that do not matter to our lives...yet we know almost nothing of the land we inhabit, and of our living breathing neighbors who share this land. Current Mood: post-civ.
|Wednesday, June 21st, 2006|
|this is sooooo embarrassing.
so i have to spill it with my electronic bullhorn. i watched *mr & mrs smith* the other day, analyzing the shit outta it (thanks to my good friend, herb)... and lemme tell ya, that chemistry between one angelina jolie and one brad pitt is so fucking goddamn intense. or maybe it's the knowledge that those scenes became the breeding ground for future babies & a well publicized divorce. my coworker put it like this, "if i was jennifer aniston, i would have lost my marbles and my sanity, watching my lover have such chemistry with another".
i can't stop thinking about it. i somehow find it terribly romantic, in this weird celebrity couple crush way. it's the most pathetic obsession i have ever had.
|Saturday, June 17th, 2006|
|there is a bear in the middle of the room. i think it's me.
sleep eat no extreme heat is the recipe for my successes these days. i drink coffee as a medicinal to keep spirits up & energy (the fake kind) coursing through the bones. oh lowbrow how i do not want to be baked in your oven. although i have a lovely avineri house to sit (complete with free AC and an incredible garden to care for) i still have home & garden responsibilities to tend to (like moving the humanure pile!)
today is one of those out of my gourd days. where i got about three to four hours sleep because daniel and i couldn't stop talking and arguing and being confused and making up until the wee hours. totally worth it, even when i was ready to give up & pass out. plus i'm working a 12 hour day shift followed by a 6.5 hour night shift while subsisting on snacks like salsa and coffee and aliens.
so, lately my life has consisted of lots and lots of talking. some exciting song-making. bursts of authentic confidence (crazy and luminous). some justified anger, (mine) expressed & direct. plans in formation. feedback flying every which way. tossing myself outside comfort zones. getting shit done and laughing a lot. feeling stronger in the most vulnerable ways.
i'm beginning to define the person i will grow into this coming year. (i do this every year. does anyone else?) more to come about who i am envisioning....
|Sunday, May 28th, 2006|
gemini time is fucking swell. if i wasn't being a temp-workaholic lately i'd probly enjoy it to the max. as it stands my mind is a million tunnels all conjoining & it has to do with this plant (that some people smoke). all is very temporary & it seems that i've got a bit of trickster in my system to balance out the purist urgings.
had an awesome awaited discussion with daniel today about gender: androgyny, pronouns & language, socialized BS, & the like. very honest thoughtful transformative. had a super great convo with wife the other morning about our personal value systems, judgments, and intuition- how these are all relatively intertwined in our interactions with other humyns.
and then luka & i got to have a supportive phone dialogue about sugar and how icky it is but bananas are fucking tasty!
thankfully i'm writing obsessively & it will all soon be cut-n-pasted-n-reproduced kinda like yogurt but not really.
|Monday, May 15th, 2006|
i am tired all the time today. and yesterday too. something feels wrong wrong wrong. but i'm pretending it doesn't because i am not sick.
lynne y yo secured our tickets for guatemala today, & that was oh, exciting? probably.
slept in a full moon bath last night on the porch. coexisted nicely with the kitties, roaches, rats, oppossums, etc. you know, getting back to those feral roots in the backyard.
miami- it was good to see you on saturday. you were real cute but you made me sleepy. i think we should....do it. all the time.
dreams have been vivid as fuck. in the midst of making four different mix tapes. i miss sue. i love mangoes. come along baby baluga, come along. Current Mood: chewy
|Sunday, April 30th, 2006|
|april come she goes
last night was the gender bender prom "unda the sea" at the mighty lowbrow. wife & i decorated with balloons and even had a portrait area plus DJ. some of the night's downfalls included:
A. when i applied my fake facial stubble, i turned into an image of my asshole brother. wife's immediate reaction? "you look like someone who would put roofies in my drink at a bar."
B. the cops showed up after about only 30 minutes & were way aggressive, causing the whole dance party to get moved indoors.
C. i felt extremely tired after 1.5 hours and sneaked out to fall asleep at the kabana, an eyelash past midnight. didn't even get to see the latecomers.
D. woke up with a major hangover, despite the fact that i had no alcohol to drink.
E. someone shit on the top of the compost bucket, aka the lid. there was also some puking, and a couple people getting locked in the bathroom this morning.
on the positive end...
U. met some new miami friends
W. hey it was a drag prom & that alone is awesome!
X. felt like the first true no-alcohol challenge. wasn't that bad. made pina colada mocktails.
Y. took two rolls of film, almost entirely portraits. (thanks shoog for being such an inspiration!)
Z. didn't really have to deal with the shit, puke, or general bathroom misfortunes (thanks to cara, kate, & wife for this)
tonight's work projects include some photocopying. making a little sign to pass out to neighbors on our block (says stuff about building community & talking to one another, not calling cops or code). also creating an invitation for anarchadecea summer school. where w'all pick a subject or project to devote ourselves individually to for three months, and have accountability allies & such. informal & self-directed. based off of the concept of evergreen college. and i'm also excited to copy some articles from LIP magazine. you know, i actually don't really like magazines much, but this one seriously blows me away, with each page i turn.
i've been needing a mental health check in, as i try to be proactive with my heat encroaching changes. already had some insights followed by some boundary creation, and it seems necessary for me to share these with others, if only to help people help me. make sense? i've been shorter-tempered lately, distracted & a little anxious. perhaps a little glum too. i put a lot of pressure on myself to be physically capable of activity, and recently, have noticed my physical initiative has been lacking (which leads me to feel unproductive and somewhat worthless). i know, it's fucked up to measure ourselves by regimented oppressive standards of productivity, but it's still relatively ingrained.
i personally value creative efforts, as well as stillness and calm. what is true is that as my body slows down, my creative initiative expands a bit, at least with graphic & writing pursuits. and i think this is my LW summer in a nutshell. i kind of need some hermit time to develop some creative projects that have danced around my indoors. and it's one thing for ME to know this about myself, and another to cleanse myself of judgment, ie: i don't want to worry that others will judge me as lazy for my physical incapabilities. it's partially because i am concerned with the judgment of those close to me (i think this is what being humyn is- like it or not) and partially because i know that my close friends ARE super clued into my changes, and definitely pick up on any arising passivity or potential depression. i don't want people to try to get me to be more physical, i just want people to understand where i'm at and accept it. of course i love invitations (like biking to beach or doing garden projects), but i'm good at saying no too.
typing it out into virtuality seems odd. i'm excited to talk with folks- warm humyn to warm humyn- in the coming days about my needs. hurray!!!!! needs. boundaries. whoa. the dawning of the sun in taurus. the dawning of summer dawn.
|Wednesday, April 26th, 2006|
once again, i hit a glitch and was rejected from pbcc EMT summer school. they don't know what they're missing. after the initial utter disappointment, wife reminded me of that old adage, all for a reason. wife is a fucking buddha.
now i grapple with summer wide heat heavy openness. do i quit my night job so i can go hang out in locales like the woods or keys or miami or tally? do i work even more so i can take up that awesome opportunity to go to guatemala with lynne & the double digits (they sound like an indie rock band) in july? do i become a parttime construction worker & push my physical (& socialized) limitations? do i really know how to prevent myself from becoming this-seasonally depressed?
it's already a goddamn oven in the lowbrow, & i've been sleeping eight hours consecutively this past week. which means i wake up in the middle of the day, & have been much more aware of my sleepdreams. my passivity helps me to spend important time with others, something i feel like i've been inconsistent with the past few months. got to hangout & checkin with radym, ali, cara, sue, penel, & lynne recently, & it is nourishing to feel supportive & supported. i have been brought to tears (even as i choke them back) by the stories & emotions of at least four of these folks in the last week. my friends are so amazingly powerful and honest.
my mom called today & reminded me of how out of touch i can be with my own family. seems my dad has been pretty sick (& scared... which he really never is about his health). it's been going on for the past couple weeks & i knew nothing. i've been crying a lot lately.
then there's the whole body image & constant insecurity issue that i've been personally focused on attacking. learning to draw boundaries & be self-validating.... hung out with nina today, told her she's my silliest friend. she's like, i know, you laugh all the time when i come over. three is seriously the best age ever....
|Sunday, April 16th, 2006|
i'm not sure if all of my virtual friends truly know the origins of today's fantastic holiday. 2006 marks the first year that i will be celebrating measter, otherwise known as, the resurrection of moonshine.
here's the story. long long ago, there was a moonshine. no one knows exactly why, but his food bowl went empty for three long days and nights. he meandered into the compost pile, where he curled up for those long long hours, awaiting death and possibly redemption. whether it was despair or a desire to fast that drew these actions forth, no one truly can imagine. our measter mystery only deepens. the apostle thrash, dressed in monk's robes of brown, rolls a large boulder in front of the pile, and drapes a shroud-like tarp over it. thrash stands on his hind legs for those long long hours, asparagus spear in paw. the third night, an apparition of moonshine-as-turkey appears. in the morning, thrash rolls the boulder back, un-shrouds the compost pile, and twin moonshines (one is a clone!) dash out, completely white, pulled by a chariot of 1000 rats on fire. the sight is blinding. thrash grabs onto the twin tails, his robes blowing behind him like a superhero cape. the parade is sponsored by macy's and makes its way indoors, where miraculously there has appeared a full bowl of healthy cat food. the rats burn & shine to the tune of chariots of fire, while the cats dine with feasty eyes. (note: this is NOT the same holiday where moonshine assumpts.)
so there you have the legend/legacy/history of this elaborate ritual. however, i must note a few idiosyncracies. originally, moonshine only had a spot of white mold on the tip of one ear, complements of the dirty compost pile he had positioned himself in. over the years, in the millions of tellings, the story did change to now state that both moonshine & his twin were completely white, as if they had been frightened. theorists would say that this is a reflection of modern & postmodern cultural changes & norms. also, in the predictions & stories of future redemption for humynity & animality, the apostle thrash plays a key role in the apostlcalypso. this would entail the immortality of such a felonious character.
how does one go about celebrating measter? an oft-asked question. first, one must honor their own feline companions with bestowing upon them either a morning bath, haircut, or buzzcut. secondly, there must be elaborate retellings of the first measter, to which a new detail is added with each recollection. also, it is important to have a ritual housesweeping (& subsequent flea drownings, if necessary). this day is also celebrated with extra abandon & hedonism. personally, i suggest lots of sex, mangoes, naps, arugula, bike parts, & cat power's newest album. hallelujah! spread the word! Current Mood: voy al ban~o.
|Sunday, April 9th, 2006|
|la sombra humilde
i would first like to echo radym's writings about the recent wave of depressing events & reactions in our community. the assault on humyn rights is so way out of control (not that these assaults could ever be IN control).... from the arrests of immigrants looking for work, to the hundred+ immigrants that have been evicted by racist code enforcement. guess what? i'm pissed. along with many many others. & we're uniting. the synchronicity & resonance of this on a larger scale, as all over the UfuckingS people are gathering together to stand against the creation of new xenophobic laws. it is sickening & heart-wrenching & what the fuck am i going to do about it? i'm doodling question marks in that repetitive way, in hopes that the breakthrough direct action inspiration will go off like a literal slingshot stone through a lightbulb.
it is so damn difficult to remain buoyant when shit like this is happening. yet this is always always happening. sometimes it feels more upped & amped, like lately. maybe this is my philosophi-mental health theory question.... how do we love share connect feel joy in a world populated with grief anger oppression injustice fear?
so i'm learning how to juggle. appreciating the summer gardens getting planted by others. appreciating the new homes moved into by others. disclosing my insecurities. practicing spanish every day. getting up early. staying up late. being grateful. Current Mood: moon, prefull
|Monday, April 3rd, 2006|
|daylight has been saved. for some.
yes i have been eating more chocolate than what's appropriate lately. but it's windy & grey here i can't even tell the time of the day without looking at some silly clock. i'm in the crystalest of lakes for two more days, which would include more chocolate, a dentist, knitting with mom, & some extra petting of cats.
so i spent approximately three days in the city called chicago, & had a super lovely time. hung with grandma who made muffins out of blueberries & smiles out of old stories. met up with andy for a shirley temple & a hipster show at the metro. took photos of the polish neighborhoods & tried not to be annoyed at the overprotectiveness of my relatives. spent all of saturday in bliss with the CIW march rally rally food meeting hangout session food music lordy. pure unadultered bliss. my favorite sign? "sub-poverty wages make me grimace" on the big purple creature with weird arms & a confused look.
my sis & nick came to visit me yesterday & we all went bowling. mom kept making lewd jokes. it was mega-odd, but awfully entertaining. i couldn't stop singing the "let's bowl let's bowl let's rock n roll" song from grease 2, and then doing aerobics & cheerleading kicks after my turns. juliet got real annoyed, real fast. i can always manage to irritate my sister, we'll put it on the "things i'm good at" list.
did i mention that i miss people? cuz i do. but it's also kind nice to be away from the usual lovelies. (so i don't have to share my chocolate.) (so i can really appreciate the bubble of goodness that is my daily life.)
|Sunday, March 5th, 2006|
|all i can say is,
for input regarding my depth & breadth of experiences for these past sevenish days, i will refer you to my forthcoming zine, entitled *quitter*. ironically, this one was never an idea. it was borne out of necessity & with afterbirth. i've decided to stick to writing itself, not writing about writing someday.
catch you between the sheets, hahaha.......... Current Mood: i'm eating grapes, that's all
|Sunday, February 26th, 2006|
|bringing it back
so i've had a UTI for about a week now. it started with some serious discomfort & some peeing of blood. juliette & wife also had mega-rough ones, and we ended up in an odd urinary solidarity.
last week's EF! rendevous sparked me into an insecure few days. for weeks prior, i had been so preoccupied with people & important community concerns, weathering them (one after another after another...) in a pretty stable way. the pressure came on when i had my personal blow to deal with- moonshine being diagnosed with feline leukemia.
i felt a bit stressed about the workshops i was to facilitate at EF! and this is prob. a nice forum for me to reflect on them. some insights:
1. i am extremely uncomfortable with the attention that gets taken on as facilitator. yet it was valuable to suck it up; the issues were too important for me to let my awkwardness overwhelm my passions.
2. there was a lot of positive feedback from folks at both workshops (mental health community support; challenging white supremacy & privilege). i was a bit focused on process, so i was grateful to hear that there were some solid learning experiences.
3. we'll be having our first mental health check-in hopefully sometime this week. it will be an anti-meeting, & i hope people will feel inspired to come & participate.
4. i was frustrated in many ways with the white supremacy/privilege workshop. i went into it trying not to expect or assume too much & structured the format at a pretty basic level. i was happy that it challenged people, but that was also disappointing. yet it drives me to become more active & outspoken. i have a whole life of unlearning ahead of me, & this workshop was definitely a step of my own process.
ironically enough, following last weekend, i was required to attend a week of trainings through my job at harmony house- to get myself up to date with advocate certification. i was quite surprised by how rejuvenating it all was. truly re-inspired me in this work. i am feeling drawn to revisit the domestic violence zine i began over a year ago. if anyone has contributions, they'd be greatly appreciated. i'm also beginning to think about trying to go into high schools & talk to teens about dating violence.
honestly, i'm sometimes overwhelmed by all the projects i want to do. & how distracted i can get.
|Sunday, January 29th, 2006|
|scattery kitten, jittery tadpole
i had all these huge creative plans prepared for the week, then shamefully got myself grossly sick. each day was a new, not-delightful surprise. headache monday, sore throat tuesday, crampy wednesday, cough coughcough thursday, vomit friday... yuck. but in good newsland, kate's got a horse now, which she wants to collectivize. meaning that i'll get multiple opportunities to ride & maybe get lessons. woohoo! also, i've been feeling super-creative, maybe it was all the sick (induced) hallucinations. this week's zine idea is called "jokes on you!" about oppressive humor & how it intricately colludes with dominant hierarchies, while hiding under the defense that it's not really racist/sexist/classist/homophobic, because, duh dawn, it's just a joke.
paint has been playing with the cobwebbed corners of my mind too, & i really wish i could translate the images inside my head & within my dreams to canvas. last eve i dreamed of skinning snakes & setting fires. i also dreamed of that time/place escalator that took me to france in thirty seconds. didn't even need a passport; somehow was singing fluently and skating around on this ice with all my frenchie lovers & friends.
1. take over cara's abandoned post as weekly farm helper
2. get my second round of postal & passenger pigeon letters to their rightful recipients.
3. slither my way outta work this weekend so i can use my plane tix to dc for NCOR
4. plan & send invitations for the alter ego party (which now will be a character dinner mystery)
5. probably not hold up a convenience store
6. six is just too many Current Mood: pensive &/or determined
|Monday, January 23rd, 2006|
|roadkill raccoon in a bucket
(it's probably good if you don't know what that subject heading is about.)
the food bug bit me. no, i did not get poisoned; actually i've been wanting to obsessively bake & make vegan spreads, that's all. involving such talented characters, like olives and choco chips and almonds and sun dried tomatoes, tahini poppy seeds cayenne cornmeal tofu you name it. not together, unless someone dares me. all these urges are accentuated by having a belly full of dragons that need daily satiation. and a trip to the farm with cara. which,
is a new weekly date. a sunrise drive, a few hours preparing farmshares, then all the time we want to glean and glean. took home armloads of basil and have taken to drying the herbs for cooking & medicinal tea purposes, while preserving the seeds of those that offer them. seed saving is so serene & methodical. and you know, it's truly magical on the farm; for some reason it reminds me of arizona deserts. maybe it's the quiet.
i'd like to collect some vegan baking recipes, ones that don't use margarine or refined sugar. i'm also collecting vegan spread ideas. perhaps a forthcoming zine? it's on the to-do list for my life. that, alongside learning how to unicycle while making balloon animals.